tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37032121.post7874993122710446389..comments2024-03-27T05:04:39.476-07:00Comments on Museum 2.0: Strange(r) Encounters: Conditions for EngagementNina Simonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11723930679606298550noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37032121.post-63541670076254225182008-07-13T23:39:00.000-07:002008-07-13T23:39:00.000-07:00I think there's some unquantifiable quality of bei...I think there's some unquantifiable quality of being or seeming "up for it" that's hard to describe.<BR/><BR/>I talk to strangers all the time. More to the point, strangers initiate conversations with me on a regular basis. I certainly don't fall into the category of attention seeking-- to the contrary, I'm rather quiet and shy. I dress to blend in. I try to mind my own business.<BR/><BR/>But I've found that strangers seem to feel comfortable talking to me. I hardly ever enter a bar without ending up in conversations with people I don't know-- and it's not like I'm a startlingly attractive person or anything. I guess I just look like someone you *can* talk to.<BR/><BR/>I was talking with a friend of mine, trying to describe some unrelated event, and said to him, "it's like when you're sitting at McDonald's trying to eat your cheeseburger, and some little kid comes along and insists on talking to you." My friend just looked at me and said, "No, no I don't. That never happens to me."<BR/><BR/>I don't know-- there's some factor, it has to be the way some people react to initial nonverbal signs, behavioral cues, whatever, that lets those around them feel that they're up for a conversation.<BR/><BR/>And apparently I give that off even when I'm not.<BR/><BR/>Not really something you can institutionalize at a place like a museum, but key to knowing who to hire when you're looking for social facilitators. Some people, even when initiating contact, really don't invite conversation. They feel scripted, or forced, or cold. Others feel open to conversation, easy to talk to, genuinely interested. The latter are the people you need out there, being the "face" of your institution.<BR/><BR/>This is an elaborate ramble, apropos of very little-- sorry 'bout that.Tad Suiterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01710676871747836770noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37032121.post-55491014746111815982008-07-11T00:19:00.000-07:002008-07-11T00:19:00.000-07:00There is also, I think, "Intimate Observation of O...There is also, I think, "Intimate Observation of Ordinary Event." This is common with me. There's nothing extraordinary going on but someone makes the moment extraordinary, if you will, by commenting. The passe example of this would be to talk about the weather. At this level it's mostly just talk for the sake of talking, to show that talking would be okay if the other person is so inclined. But if the comment happens to be deeper - an insight about the weather, or a clever turn of phrase about it, to continue the example, it's a more involved gambit: you're trying to show that talking together would have value. It's a tribal identification, I suppose, but the tribe is "conversationalists" and it's a very large tribe. The trick is knowing what gang sign to flash, if you will, for the particular stranger(s) you're with.<BR/><BR/>Thinking about museum settings, I wonder what would occur if you had a big whiteboard up next to an exhibit, and I could go up and write something as a gambit to engage other people who were also viewing the exhibit right then. That might be a way to let people do their conversational gambits in a way that's less invasive of personal space.WriTerGuyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10560042674444682691noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37032121.post-76589872999021596582008-07-10T10:30:00.000-07:002008-07-10T10:30:00.000-07:00As we've discussed previously, there's also the sh...As we've discussed previously, there's also the shared foxhole effect with varying levels of stressful or distasteful situations like: dmv queues, airline delays, getting caught in a freak thunderstorm, hostage situations, etc. These are esp powerful for crossing tribal lines that wouldn't otherwise be crossed.Marchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07615238802602492222noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37032121.post-58123214927951561612008-07-07T13:18:00.000-07:002008-07-07T13:18:00.000-07:00HI Nina, the one situation I immediately thought o...HI Nina, the one situation I immediately thought of was parents and dog-owners, who, by virtue of caring for similar creatures, tend to talk to strangers easily while simultaneously observing these creatures in action (e.g. dog parks and playgrounds). I've met several of my new friends by hanging out at a local playground with my then toddler. We watch our kids play, interact, develop, etc. while comparing stories, ideas, suggestions, etc. I'm not a dog owner, but I heard that similar activities go on at dog runs and parks. Maybe this falls under the "tribal" heading. But my husband and I have often remarked that once you have a kid and you go out in public, all of the sudden you're practically forced to talk to strangers, especially if you have an adorable child -- which we all do! I also thought of my father who will gamely talk to any stranger if he can make a joke. Could be someone in an elevator, running the cash register, or waiting in line with us -- doesn't matter who or where, if he can make a joke, he will. As one might imagine, sometimes this goes well and sometimes it doesn't. But he's my dad and I don't try to change him :)Elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02904866770092303902noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37032121.post-56054274555365734722008-07-07T04:24:00.000-07:002008-07-07T04:24:00.000-07:00Great stories! Keep them coming! Suzette, there'...Great stories! Keep them coming! Suzette, there's another post that talks about the role of live facilitators as stranger-enablers <A HREF="http://museumtwo.blogspot.com/2007/10/missed-connections-and-matchmaking-case.html" REL="nofollow">here</A> that may interest you. I certainly miss the days of the "magic blue vest" I wore on the floor of a children's museum--it gave me access to talk to any kid without having the parent look at me suspiciously.Nina Simonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11723930679606298550noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37032121.post-818138835622464392008-07-06T19:02:00.000-07:002008-07-06T19:02:00.000-07:00Nina, THere's also the forced encounter - when you...Nina, <BR/><BR/>THere's also the forced encounter - when you are stuck on a subway, tarmac, train etc. for hours and wind up conversing with strangers because you now share a mutual inconvenience - and misery loves company?. My favorite instance of this occurred on a very delayed Amtrak train from Washington to NYC. A tornado had downed a tree on the tracks and the train had to wait for over six hours until a crane could remove the tree and we could move forward. Although the train was packed, I was lucky to find a seat in the cafe car, sharing a table with a post-doc (whose early trimester pregnancy rendered her very hungry and very tired but still plugging away on the scientific article she was writing), a gregarious attorney who regaled us about his march-to a- different-drumbeat daughter who was turning his hair gray, and a publisher whose publishing house represented, among others, the estate of Eudora Welty. Hands down, the most interesting conversation I ever recall being part of. Made the 2:00AM arrival time almost worth it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37032121.post-68203521302975011882008-07-06T17:08:00.000-07:002008-07-06T17:08:00.000-07:00Hi NinaSome of my fondest times in the States have...Hi Nina<BR/>Some of my fondest times in the States have occurred around strangers talking to each other. My two favourite occurred in New York. A well-dressed woman on the lower eas side was crossing the street when a man in a convertible called out and commented on how nice her hair looked and then drove away! Another was in starbarks restrooms where two girls were admiring themselves in the mirror. One asked me 'does my bottom look big?' Before I could say anything the other quipped, 'it looks just like her mammas!'<BR/>I have to say that as an Australian I find the ease with which Americans speak to strangers both startling and bemusing. Here in Australia I doubt whether I would have felt quite as amused after those two encounters - more likely I'd be looking for a police station! I think part of the reason Americans can be so open is that the culture seems to really encourage verbal communication. I've had more in-depth conversations with newly made acquaintances in the States than I often have here in Australia. We seem to have inherited the British 'stiff upper lip' in some respects. I suspect it is the reason that the social networking technologies have predominately been developed in the States - and I'm indebited to it!<BR/>Cheers<BR/>AngelinaAngelinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07964570465958544746noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37032121.post-46025477429440847992008-07-06T12:34:00.000-07:002008-07-06T12:34:00.000-07:00In my role as a volunteer docent in a contemporary...In my role as a volunteer docent in a contemporary art museum, I roam the galleries during my shift and chat up folks about the art they're viewing (or, more frequently, speeding by...). I've noticed that people will initially shrink from the contact, until they're reassured by the official badge identifying me and my capacity. Some very satisfying and fun conversations result from these "stranger encounters." A good day at the museum is when I can get two disparate individuals or couples or families together, talking about a work.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37032121.post-49932290869661351462008-07-06T11:44:00.000-07:002008-07-06T11:44:00.000-07:00Hermione--great point! I'd call that one "tribal ...Hermione--great point! I'd call that one "tribal identification." I have it with people carrying frisbees, people with tattoos, people running early in the morning...<BR/><BR/>One interesting thing about that kind of interaction is that it's not enough to have the shared hobby or interest--you have to both be DOING it for it to be appropriate to talk. For example, you would probably greet a jogger differently (and get a different response) if you were in business attire instead of running shorts.<BR/><BR/>How can museums make it easy for people to express their tribal identities (and thus connect)?Nina Simonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11723930679606298550noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37032121.post-90889409821127081812008-07-05T18:44:00.000-07:002008-07-05T18:44:00.000-07:00There is also the comraderie between stangers who ...There is also the comraderie between stangers who are doing a similar activity - as a runner you always say 'Hi' to other runners out on the sreet, but not walkers or cyclists. (well we do here in New Zealand). Working in a Museum we are constantly trying to develop experiences where visitors can interact and learn alongside other 'strangers' who may not even speak the same language as them. It's great when it works!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37032121.post-3613392145904328572008-07-05T09:26:00.000-07:002008-07-05T09:26:00.000-07:00Nina: in October 2007 I spent a few days in Cocoa ...Nina: in October 2007 I spent a few days in Cocoa Beach and Miami Beach, and, in my limited experience, I didn't get the impression that Americans ignore visitors. I and my Italian friends were frequently greeted by unknown people who just smiled and said "hi!". Do you mean ignoring strangers beyond that basic level of interaction?Paolo Amorosohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03789843965489611451noreply@blogger.com